It was about a year ago that I had my showcase at the end of my time at drama school. Lots of things have happened - maybe not as many big things as I would have liked - but lots of things. I found something i wrote at the time that makes me realise thank God I'm not back there again:
It has been three days since I had my London Showcase – symbolising the end of my acting training and the start of my career. I am back in my home town; at the first theatre I ever performed in dressed in a colourful ‘Andy Pandy’esque outfit with brightly coloured make up sat at the side of the stage wondering if this really is: ‘showbiz’. I have been a children’s party clown for years and years: a fun Saturday job for my teenage self and now a suitable stop-gap whilst waiting for my ‘big-break’. The company also puts on theatre shows and I have been roped into performing in an anniversary performance under the slight pretence “all the old guys will be back”. A grand total of two out of approximately twenty have turned up and I am left wondering if I’m a bit soft...
Until 5:40pm yesterday I had not a single call from an agent and I was feeling pretty worried. Other members of my group (generally male) had various calls as soon as we had come of stage, yet all I had was a concerned feeling as in my head I had thought, “I am AWESOME, people will be clamouring to sign me if these other guys are having interest”. Thankfully an agent I had met previously as a mock interview through my drama school the previous month was still interested and wanted me to meet them again the following Tuesday. Of course since then I have been worrying that the other agents will wait until next week to get in contact and I will have already given this one an answer! I have luckily since snapped out of it, realising that firstly this one hasn’t actually offered as yet and secondly, the phone is not ringing...
Monday 21 September 2009
Sunday 20 September 2009
Clueless
Working with kids is a weird thing as, despite only being in my early/mid twenties I start referencing pop culture from when I was a teen and I get blank faces from the teens I'm teaching. I never got it when adults would roll their eyes when it was me not getting the reference and now it's happening the other way around a bit too quick for my likening. I've just watched Clueless again and I'm shocked to see it was first out 14 years ago. Yes 14 years!!!! I know that the rest of my life now is going to be full of weird moments like this and I don't like it....
M x
M x
Wednesday 16 September 2009
Sister Act:: Rise of the Understudy
On Monday Night I saw Sister Act the Musical. It's good. Not amazing, but good fun. A very expensive looking pantomime really. But Debbie Kurup who was on for Patina Miller (who I think is on holiday) was AMAZING! I've seen Debbie in all sorts of shows before and she is always a stand out but she was just fantastic in this. Thankfully they didn't bother doing the announcement at the beggining that Patina wasn't on as I cannot stand the obnoxious groan and moan you hear from the general public in the audience (notice how I distance myself from them lol). Google Debbie Kurup everyone - she's fab.
M x
M x
Temping Tuesdays
ARGHHH teaching is not my calling. It is not to say I'm not good at it or indeed I don't enjoy it sometimes but it is not what God put me on this earth to do. I actually treat my teaching as not 'just a job' but something that I feel is worthwhile - until yesterday.
I teach all ages acting and singing after school but yesterday not only did I have a parent moaning that she didn't understand why they need to warm up before singing but I had a group of 14 -16 year olds that admitted that they probably couldn't find 15 minutes during their week to look at lyrics of a song for the following class... WHY DO WE BOTHER?????!
The End. Now I have to go and work with 1 year olds at a creche...
I teach all ages acting and singing after school but yesterday not only did I have a parent moaning that she didn't understand why they need to warm up before singing but I had a group of 14 -16 year olds that admitted that they probably couldn't find 15 minutes during their week to look at lyrics of a song for the following class... WHY DO WE BOTHER?????!
The End. Now I have to go and work with 1 year olds at a creche...
Monday 14 September 2009
A Little Rant...
This week I have admittedly watched a lot of E4, which as we know results in watching the same American dramas all day on a loop. It does also mean that you have to listen to that dreadful announcer man who thinks it's hilarious to use the word 'ruddy' in every sentence but this week he didn't just take the biscuit - he took the whole 'ruddy' tin!
Background info:
I am absolutely mad about the American series, 'How I Met Your Mother'. It's tag line is 'A Love Story in Reverse' and so you are watching just that - the lead character, Ted, telling his children in the fututre how he met their mother. It's very cleverly written as not only can you watch any of the episodes as one off funny programs- if you watch all the episodes from every season they are intricately weaved together so, for instance, something mentioned in season one may now be explained properly until season three. A normal sitcom can't do this as it would have a pool of writers and different director each episode - this doesn't happen with How I Met Your Mother as it's always the same team.
Why am I furious?
WELL. The stupid advert for How I Met Your Mother is a ridiculous negative advertising ploy to say that 'it's just like Friends' and you've seen it all before. Firstly this is not true and Secondly why on earth do that think that would make people watch it- if they have spent money on buying the program in for E4, why on earth demean it with it's advertising??? I wrote to channel 4 yesterday and gave them a piece of my mind on it and aparently the email will be passed to the appropriate people. They are such IDIOTS!
Mx
Tuesday 8 September 2009
The Quest for Stardom
My word I have become Slack Alice. I apologise for not writing for ages then I follow it by not writing for ages. So what's been going on?
I attended a course on new musical theatre which was really good, I directed Little Women the Broadway Musical in a week then went to visit Bath and Cornwall and now I am back and about to record a demo CD. Thunderbirds are GO!
Bath is amazing - I just hope the next time I am there it is because I am filming a period drama! And I hope Rupert Penry Jones is near by....
Talking of which he was in the dire 'Match Point' last night - for ONE whole scene! Oh Rups!! Mind you I think i would take a part with one scene to be opposite the beautiful Johnathan Rhys Meyers. Although I would have to hold back the laughter from the terrible acting. Shouting does not a King of England make.
Anyway enough of this nonsense. Everyone must take notice of a fabulous young composer called Michael Bruce. He worked with us on my course and he is destined for great things - there is a concert of his work in London on November 1st which I won't get to see as I'll be in Norfolk working but please go!!
New headshots came through this week - I'm really happy with them but my word where are I finding the money??? Becoming an actor is so expensive....
I attended a course on new musical theatre which was really good, I directed Little Women the Broadway Musical in a week then went to visit Bath and Cornwall and now I am back and about to record a demo CD. Thunderbirds are GO!
Bath is amazing - I just hope the next time I am there it is because I am filming a period drama! And I hope Rupert Penry Jones is near by....
Talking of which he was in the dire 'Match Point' last night - for ONE whole scene! Oh Rups!! Mind you I think i would take a part with one scene to be opposite the beautiful Johnathan Rhys Meyers. Although I would have to hold back the laughter from the terrible acting. Shouting does not a King of England make.
Anyway enough of this nonsense. Everyone must take notice of a fabulous young composer called Michael Bruce. He worked with us on my course and he is destined for great things - there is a concert of his work in London on November 1st which I won't get to see as I'll be in Norfolk working but please go!!
New headshots came through this week - I'm really happy with them but my word where are I finding the money??? Becoming an actor is so expensive....
Sunday 2 August 2009
The Quest for Stardom
Sorry i have been away for a bit, I've been stupidly busy!
I've just done a great workshop week with west end performers and it's been brilliant and I have learnt so much. Plus I had a couple of workshops with casting directors and I graduated! so tonnes going on.
Of course now though I feel exhausted. I've been sat her listening to musical theatre songs and trying to find new audition songs...and so it goes on.
How has everyone else been doing? Seems like everyone is at least sorted with panto etc by now so 2009 has stopped looking so bleak...even if I'm spending winter in Norfolk lol! I'm sure it will be wonderful.
Good things are coming!!
M x
I've just done a great workshop week with west end performers and it's been brilliant and I have learnt so much. Plus I had a couple of workshops with casting directors and I graduated! so tonnes going on.
Of course now though I feel exhausted. I've been sat her listening to musical theatre songs and trying to find new audition songs...and so it goes on.
How has everyone else been doing? Seems like everyone is at least sorted with panto etc by now so 2009 has stopped looking so bleak...even if I'm spending winter in Norfolk lol! I'm sure it will be wonderful.
Good things are coming!!
M x
Tuesday 7 July 2009
Temping Tuesdays
On Friday I babysat for a boy who seemed to have bad hayfever and wouldn't stop sitting on me and demanding cuddles...yesterday I had a call to tell me he has swine flu and I have to incubate until Friday!!! I'm not allowed to be around under 5s until then either so I'm not able to work at the moment despite the fact I feel fine! DISASTER!!!
M x
M x
Tuesday 30 June 2009
Temping Tuesdays
For the first time in a long long time I have been turning down work. Yes you read right - turning down!! What is it about buses and low-medium paid jobs, you wait around for one and then about 50 turn up. I have signed on to so many different kinds of agencies you wouldn't believe but it has paid off and I'm finally making money. Unfortunately a lot of the time of the time the work clashes (hense the turning it down) and then at other times I am sat once again playing computer games and watching E4 (don't get me wrong, I spend a hell of a lot of time 'honing my craft' but you can't do that every second of the day can you).
Speaking of my craft I got a whole load of backing tracks off www.ameritz.co.uk and all of them are good yet all have dodgy backing vocal on them - does anyone else hate this?? It sounds naff as anything. And then I remember that there are worse things happening in the world...but come on!!
M x
Speaking of my craft I got a whole load of backing tracks off www.ameritz.co.uk and all of them are good yet all have dodgy backing vocal on them - does anyone else hate this?? It sounds naff as anything. And then I remember that there are worse things happening in the world...but come on!!
M x
Thursday 25 June 2009
Superstar's Search for Love
OK so what with all the frantic attempts to make money and get work it is very hard for even superstar such as myself to meet any nice (straight and single) guys. A friend recently put me on this site called 'My Single Friend' which is a brilliant idea for the world of Internet dating. Rather than going through the embarrassing ordeal of writing a profile about why you are really cool and crap like that, your friend puts you on there with a lovely profile (if you have a nice friend) about why they don't understand you are single.
I needed some initial coaxing of course but then I figured nothing ventured nothing gained. So what you do once you have your profile is you search age, area etc and from those guys you read their profile and either 'favourite' them or message them. 'Favourite-ing' is free but messaging costs so I figured lets just 'favourite' and see if they 'favourite' back (after being told by a friend that is how he is having success - once someone favourites back you know to message). So I figured right I will 'favourite' as many as I like and at least then I'll get a few. 56 'favourites' later I feel excited at the prospect of attractive men expressing equal interest. 2 weeks went by...nothing...
Could it be that I am over-reaching? Or are THEY over-reaching? Or do they even bother with this 'favourite' business.
Well, after biting the bullet and paying up for a month of messaging I found that yes indeed they don't bother with 'favourite-ing' or at least straight guys don't (the friend that had all the success with it was gay). A few messaged back - a lot didn't even read them which means they don't pay anyway. I had one semi-disastrous date out of it and her I sit now watching Neighbours, no further forward but I suppose I'm not really bothered anymore - the novelty wore off quickly!
Ah well...
M x
I needed some initial coaxing of course but then I figured nothing ventured nothing gained. So what you do once you have your profile is you search age, area etc and from those guys you read their profile and either 'favourite' them or message them. 'Favourite-ing' is free but messaging costs so I figured lets just 'favourite' and see if they 'favourite' back (after being told by a friend that is how he is having success - once someone favourites back you know to message). So I figured right I will 'favourite' as many as I like and at least then I'll get a few. 56 'favourites' later I feel excited at the prospect of attractive men expressing equal interest. 2 weeks went by...nothing...
Could it be that I am over-reaching? Or are THEY over-reaching? Or do they even bother with this 'favourite' business.
Well, after biting the bullet and paying up for a month of messaging I found that yes indeed they don't bother with 'favourite-ing' or at least straight guys don't (the friend that had all the success with it was gay). A few messaged back - a lot didn't even read them which means they don't pay anyway. I had one semi-disastrous date out of it and her I sit now watching Neighbours, no further forward but I suppose I'm not really bothered anymore - the novelty wore off quickly!
Ah well...
M x
Temping Tuesdays
Temping Tuesdays on a Thursday, nevermind.
Ok so this week I have handed out flyers accompanied by a giant panda, then had the giant panda attacked by, I'm sorry there is no other word for it but, 'Youths' and then carried down the highstreet.
I have babysat three nights so far and two more to go and worked at a creche where I had two crying twins (I know they tend to come in twos) on my lap simultatiously that decided every now and then if they lost balance to grip tightly and painfully onto my chest. This is the best form of family panning I can think of as I am now NEVER having children.
So yes horrah for money coming my way and double horrah for being saved from the constant rotatation of E4 daytime Tv programs (I finally actually understand One Tree Hill without wikipedia having to fill me in on who is who! In a small way this mad me happy and relieved which was sadder than anything).
The big news though, the proper BIG news is that I have an actual paid performing job coming up at Christmas thank goodness!! And it's paid VERY WELL! what do I do until then...?
M x
Ok so this week I have handed out flyers accompanied by a giant panda, then had the giant panda attacked by, I'm sorry there is no other word for it but, 'Youths' and then carried down the highstreet.
I have babysat three nights so far and two more to go and worked at a creche where I had two crying twins (I know they tend to come in twos) on my lap simultatiously that decided every now and then if they lost balance to grip tightly and painfully onto my chest. This is the best form of family panning I can think of as I am now NEVER having children.
So yes horrah for money coming my way and double horrah for being saved from the constant rotatation of E4 daytime Tv programs (I finally actually understand One Tree Hill without wikipedia having to fill me in on who is who! In a small way this mad me happy and relieved which was sadder than anything).
The big news though, the proper BIG news is that I have an actual paid performing job coming up at Christmas thank goodness!! And it's paid VERY WELL! what do I do until then...?
M x
Sunday 14 June 2009
The Quest for Stardom
So this week amongst my various jobs (babysitting, teaching drama, childrens entertaining, working at a creche, promotional work...) I tried to work out what various courses to do to improve my skills.
Yes leaving drama school does not mean you are a finished product, oh no!
I have taken up various instruments this year (EVERY job wants actor musicians at present!) I have taken various classes at the Actors Centre and tried my best to get to Pineapple (you have to pay in cash for that though and it is so much more painfull letting go of actual real money isn't it?!) I have even gone back and joined in with some dance classes at my old dance school surrounded my young mums and the elderly (surprisingly good fun!)
I have tried to work out whether at present it is worth doing a showcase course at either the Actors Centre or maybe a shoewreel course Pinewood or maybe just a course on acting for TV/film to try and learn/brush up said skills before being introduced to important people. (I did decided on the latter option). The big thing with lots of the courses is they get big names in for you to network with but I am not sure if it is wise to be seen whilst you are still learning the techniques they would expect of you.
The big thing though is that this all costs MONEY
ARGH!!!
One must invest in one's career (although how many actually make back all they spent out in the first place...?)
M x
Yes leaving drama school does not mean you are a finished product, oh no!
I have taken up various instruments this year (EVERY job wants actor musicians at present!) I have taken various classes at the Actors Centre and tried my best to get to Pineapple (you have to pay in cash for that though and it is so much more painfull letting go of actual real money isn't it?!) I have even gone back and joined in with some dance classes at my old dance school surrounded my young mums and the elderly (surprisingly good fun!)
I have tried to work out whether at present it is worth doing a showcase course at either the Actors Centre or maybe a shoewreel course Pinewood or maybe just a course on acting for TV/film to try and learn/brush up said skills before being introduced to important people. (I did decided on the latter option). The big thing with lots of the courses is they get big names in for you to network with but I am not sure if it is wise to be seen whilst you are still learning the techniques they would expect of you.
The big thing though is that this all costs MONEY
ARGH!!!
One must invest in one's career (although how many actually make back all they spent out in the first place...?)
M x
Tuesday 9 June 2009
Temping Tuesdays
On the road to the top one must still make some money.
My Top Five Worst Temp Jobs:
1) Christmas Elf in the worlds worst organised Grotto.
2) Temping in a kids adventure play area where every single employee was a temp and no one had a clue what was going on.
3) Working at a holiday club for children where the over-weight and under qualified lady I had to work with would start EVERY sentence with "I'm not being funny but..." She was indeed right as she was never funny.
4) Flyering for a rubbish offer to do with banking during a credit crunch and being spat at.
5) Working in a sweet factory bagging up sweets and actually learning what white mice and dazzles are made from.
The only way is up...
My Top Five Worst Temp Jobs:
1) Christmas Elf in the worlds worst organised Grotto.
2) Temping in a kids adventure play area where every single employee was a temp and no one had a clue what was going on.
3) Working at a holiday club for children where the over-weight and under qualified lady I had to work with would start EVERY sentence with "I'm not being funny but..." She was indeed right as she was never funny.
4) Flyering for a rubbish offer to do with banking during a credit crunch and being spat at.
5) Working in a sweet factory bagging up sweets and actually learning what white mice and dazzles are made from.
The only way is up...
Friday 29 May 2009
Inspirational Fridays
When you get to Friday it is good to take stock of what you have achieved this week. This can be a depressing thing as well as an encouraging thing: e.g. how much money have I not made this week, how I had no auditions and so on...
BUT it is equally important to realise the bigger picture and look towards the stars for inspiration. I don't mean astronomy or astrology (don't even get me started on that one!) but to the people who where once penniless actors like us but now more successful than we could ever dream.
(picture from http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/82/21682-004-F0870968.jpg)
Today it is an honor bestowed on the comedienne, singer and actress: Fanny Brice - the original 'Funny Girl'.
She dropped out of school, she wasn't 'pretty' and she had dreadful choice in men but became a huge star during the first half of the twentieth century with Barbra Streisand starring as her in the (not very historically accurate) movie 'Funny Girl'.
Someone has uploaded a little video biog on youtube.com:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U64-A7QoIB8&feature=related
M x
Monday 25 May 2009
Superstar's Search for Love
I went on a blind date of sorts last week. I say 'of sorts' because we knew what we each looked like so it wasn't all that blind. The problem was...there was nothing there. I don't mean he was an idiot or anything but there was just nothing there between us and I could tell that within about 3 minutes (funnily enough apparently the exact amount of time allowance they give you on speed dating so maybe it's not such a bad idea!) 'On paper' as it were he seemed everything that I would want yet in practice...nothing.
It is hard to meet a suitable partner when you are busy running your own business - which is essentially what you are doing being an actor. All throughout drama school you have been surrounded by, by and large, absolutely wonderful gay boys that show you how marvelous the opposite sex can be and no poor straight boy can ever compete. Celebrities do not set a good example for budding superstars either - their relationships seem to be short lived and messy, not to mention plastered all over the papers (superstars love their weekly dose of 'The National Enquirer')
(Picture from http://popbytes.com/img/necover-167.jpg)
Aside from the complete lack of desire to have my name split with someone else (as with 'Bradgelina' and 'Benifer' etc) and indeed the wonderful boys in my life that sadly fancy Rupert Penry Jones as much as I do; what I hold responsible for my lack of success when it comes to love is three fold. There are three things that have played on my artistic temperament and affected my view on how relationships should happen:
1) Musicals 2) Teen Movies 3) Jane (Bloody) Austen
(Picture from http://www.filmreference.com/images/sjff_03_img0999.jpg)
The musicals of the 1940's and 1950s have shown me that men fall in love with you at first sight; that no matter how famous they may be and how lowly you may be they will fight to be with you (and make you a star in the process); that no matter what magical curse exists - he will give up his comfortable life for you; that the boy next door you are secretly in love with really loves you back; that if you go to Paris you will dance around fountains with a man in tight trousers; and no matter how much you start off hating each other you will end up loving each other in equal measure.
The hating each other thing is continued in the genre of 'Teen Movies' although they also throw in the evil twist of 'the nerdy best friend who has been secretly in love with you all along and you only noticed he was stunning gorgeous at the last minute (after having an awful time with the boy you thought you wanted at the begining). I say evil twist because I kept looking at all my male friends throughout school wondering if one day I would fancy them and of course rather than creating any real feelings for said boys it just made me feel weird around them - it was equally awkward when looking for ones that I mutually hated!
And lastly the queen of 'chick lit', the lady responsible for many women's standards when it comes to love: Jane Austen. I have always been a period drama fan, I bought all three book within 'The Forsyte Saga' after falling in love with the relationship of John and Fleur and I, like many women, decided this year to read my way through the Austen novels so I could be one of those pretentious people that pick apart television and film adaptations. I am only two and a bit novels in but I can never go back now. I cannot read any more naff, poorly written 'chick lit' novels now I have experienced Catherine and Mr Tilney's young love and Anne Elliot's enduring love for Captain Wentworth. Why does this affect my own love life? Because not only are there the obvious things like the simple manners and graces of gentlemen in those days, I actually now am in the frame of mind that if a relationship is worth having it is worth suffering for. Yes you read right, I seem to now subconciously want suffering and passion: I want to meet the cheeky Mr Tilney and be slighted by his family or re-meet Captain Wentworth after years of being seperated by our families only to still be as hopelessly in love as before (yet not knowing this until the last possible moment though).
And then I think WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?!?!
It was fixed accordingly, that Mrs Clay should be if the party in the carriage; and they had just reached this point, when Anne, as he sat near the window, descried, most decidedly and distinctly, Captain Wentworth walking down the street.
Her start was perceptible only to herself; but she instantly felt that she was the greatest simpleton in the world, the most unaccountable and absurd! For a few minutes she saw nothing before her; it was all confusion. She was lost, and when she had scolded back her senses, she found the others still waiting for the carriage, and Mr Elliot (always obliging) just setting off for Union Street on a commission of Mrs Clay's.
She now felt a great inclination to go to the outer door; she wanted to see if it rained. Why was she to suspect herself of another motive? Captain Wentworth must be out of sight. She left her seat, she would go; one half of her should not be always so much wiser than the other half, or always suspecting the other of being worse than it was. She would see if it rained. She was sent back, however, in a moment by the entrance of Captain Wentworth himself, among a party of gentlemen and ladies, evidently his acquaintance, and whom he must have joined a little below Milsom Street. He was more obviously struck and confused by the sight of her than she had ever observed before; he looked quite red.
For the first time, since their renewed acquaintance, she felt that she was betraying the least sensibility of the two. She had the advantage of him in the preparation of the last few moments. All the overpowering, blinding, bewildering, first effects of strong surprise were over with her. Still, however, she had enough to feel! It was agitation, pain, pleasure, a something between delight and misery.
He spoke to her, and then turned away. The character of his manner was embarrassment. She could not have called it either cold or friendly, or anything so certainly as embarrassed."
Persuasion by Jane Austen Chapter 19
It is hard to meet a suitable partner when you are busy running your own business - which is essentially what you are doing being an actor. All throughout drama school you have been surrounded by, by and large, absolutely wonderful gay boys that show you how marvelous the opposite sex can be and no poor straight boy can ever compete. Celebrities do not set a good example for budding superstars either - their relationships seem to be short lived and messy, not to mention plastered all over the papers (superstars love their weekly dose of 'The National Enquirer')
(Picture from http://popbytes.com/img/necover-167.jpg)
Aside from the complete lack of desire to have my name split with someone else (as with 'Bradgelina' and 'Benifer' etc) and indeed the wonderful boys in my life that sadly fancy Rupert Penry Jones as much as I do; what I hold responsible for my lack of success when it comes to love is three fold. There are three things that have played on my artistic temperament and affected my view on how relationships should happen:
1) Musicals 2) Teen Movies 3) Jane (Bloody) Austen
(Picture from http://www.filmreference.com/images/sjff_03_img0999.jpg)
The musicals of the 1940's and 1950s have shown me that men fall in love with you at first sight; that no matter how famous they may be and how lowly you may be they will fight to be with you (and make you a star in the process); that no matter what magical curse exists - he will give up his comfortable life for you; that the boy next door you are secretly in love with really loves you back; that if you go to Paris you will dance around fountains with a man in tight trousers; and no matter how much you start off hating each other you will end up loving each other in equal measure.
The hating each other thing is continued in the genre of 'Teen Movies' although they also throw in the evil twist of 'the nerdy best friend who has been secretly in love with you all along and you only noticed he was stunning gorgeous at the last minute (after having an awful time with the boy you thought you wanted at the begining). I say evil twist because I kept looking at all my male friends throughout school wondering if one day I would fancy them and of course rather than creating any real feelings for said boys it just made me feel weird around them - it was equally awkward when looking for ones that I mutually hated!
And lastly the queen of 'chick lit', the lady responsible for many women's standards when it comes to love: Jane Austen. I have always been a period drama fan, I bought all three book within 'The Forsyte Saga' after falling in love with the relationship of John and Fleur and I, like many women, decided this year to read my way through the Austen novels so I could be one of those pretentious people that pick apart television and film adaptations. I am only two and a bit novels in but I can never go back now. I cannot read any more naff, poorly written 'chick lit' novels now I have experienced Catherine and Mr Tilney's young love and Anne Elliot's enduring love for Captain Wentworth. Why does this affect my own love life? Because not only are there the obvious things like the simple manners and graces of gentlemen in those days, I actually now am in the frame of mind that if a relationship is worth having it is worth suffering for. Yes you read right, I seem to now subconciously want suffering and passion: I want to meet the cheeky Mr Tilney and be slighted by his family or re-meet Captain Wentworth after years of being seperated by our families only to still be as hopelessly in love as before (yet not knowing this until the last possible moment though).
And then I think WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?!?!
It was fixed accordingly, that Mrs Clay should be if the party in the carriage; and they had just reached this point, when Anne, as he sat near the window, descried, most decidedly and distinctly, Captain Wentworth walking down the street.
Her start was perceptible only to herself; but she instantly felt that she was the greatest simpleton in the world, the most unaccountable and absurd! For a few minutes she saw nothing before her; it was all confusion. She was lost, and when she had scolded back her senses, she found the others still waiting for the carriage, and Mr Elliot (always obliging) just setting off for Union Street on a commission of Mrs Clay's.
She now felt a great inclination to go to the outer door; she wanted to see if it rained. Why was she to suspect herself of another motive? Captain Wentworth must be out of sight. She left her seat, she would go; one half of her should not be always so much wiser than the other half, or always suspecting the other of being worse than it was. She would see if it rained. She was sent back, however, in a moment by the entrance of Captain Wentworth himself, among a party of gentlemen and ladies, evidently his acquaintance, and whom he must have joined a little below Milsom Street. He was more obviously struck and confused by the sight of her than she had ever observed before; he looked quite red.
For the first time, since their renewed acquaintance, she felt that she was betraying the least sensibility of the two. She had the advantage of him in the preparation of the last few moments. All the overpowering, blinding, bewildering, first effects of strong surprise were over with her. Still, however, she had enough to feel! It was agitation, pain, pleasure, a something between delight and misery.
He spoke to her, and then turned away. The character of his manner was embarrassment. She could not have called it either cold or friendly, or anything so certainly as embarrassed."
Persuasion by Jane Austen Chapter 19
Sunday 24 May 2009
The Quest for Stardom
'You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between'
This was a song made popular by singers such as Bing Crosby in the good 'ole days but something very worthwhile to keep in mind.
We all have our ups and downs along the yellow brick road to our dreams yet recently it has felt like a downward spiral for some. I have heard myself in recent conversations with friends sounding very down and negative about auditions and my career in general and this is not a good trend to set - although it is hard for everyone in the current climate. I know that myself and my friends have probably made each other even more down just by discussing our issues rather than the good things going on in our lives.
Negativity hangs around you like a cloak and it's too hot and sunny at the moment for one of those!
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between'
This was a song made popular by singers such as Bing Crosby in the good 'ole days but something very worthwhile to keep in mind.
We all have our ups and downs along the yellow brick road to our dreams yet recently it has felt like a downward spiral for some. I have heard myself in recent conversations with friends sounding very down and negative about auditions and my career in general and this is not a good trend to set - although it is hard for everyone in the current climate. I know that myself and my friends have probably made each other even more down just by discussing our issues rather than the good things going on in our lives.
Negativity hangs around you like a cloak and it's too hot and sunny at the moment for one of those!
Saturday 16 May 2009
First Ever Post
The first time I heard Barbra Streisand blasting out the words, “I’m the greatest star, I am by far, but no one knows it” I thought “yes, this must be about me! I can relate to this, only, if Barbra feels this frustration what hope is there for me?!” Of course, she is actually singing as the character of Fanny Brice in the movie ‘Funny Girl’ (a real-life character that worked her way to the top despite not being ‘traditionally’ attractive) yet as a slightly over-weight, frizzy haired and ridiculously tall child (ridiculously short in later years as I stopped at 11 years old – nature’s little joke against me) I thought she was singing my thoughts. Or did I?
Do we support the underdog so much that we actually MAKE ourselves the underdog? All great success stories, especially those that have been made into movies, feature people succeeding after terrible hardships and bad luck. What good is a plot where a child is born into a famous, wealthy acting dynasty, with beautiful genes, and so they go on to have a glamorous wonderful life? Boring, that’s what it would be. In fact we would want to turn the plot around and have them realise that life is hard, they have been complacent and possibly conceited so they go and become a nun in the Congo. And so from this hatred of people still doing well in their lives despite lack of suffering and hardship is something so inherently British that we have actually conditioned ourselves to aim to BE an underdog as – because of the movies – we clearly will win-out.
This is stupid: tall, blonde leggy girls will always get the jobs no matter how easy or hard they’ve had it.
Well here i am in the crazy world of Blogging. I'm not sure how it all works as yet, and i definately don't know how to make it look good but i will get there!
I have been out in the world of acting for about seven months in possibly the worst year ever to leave drama school but things can only get better!
M x
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